Recent Doodles

Invention for the prevention of drunk dialing

Alternate strategy for the prevention of drunk dialing and texting

True story

Christine McMahon, Adventure Cripple!

If the world gives you a new year, take stock!

If the world gives you a chicken carcass, make stock!

If these things happen together, do both!

As I sit here, chicken slowly decomposing in my most gigantic pot amidst various herbs and spices earlier sprinkled at it, it becomes disturbingly metaphoric.   Unemployment can be it’s own slow simmer, so I’ve a mind to assess the last year and plan for a better 2010.  Neatly categorizing one’s subjective experiences is oddly satisfying, and when I’m done I have a “Good” and a “Bad” list for 2009 that force this narcissist to chuckle at her own simplicity.  They are embarrassingly psychological transparent. I’d include them, but you’d definitely stop reading, so, to sum up; the bouillon of my life to date is apparently that I thrive on travel, being around supportive friends, writing, art things, and the eating and preparing of good food.  Things I don’t enjoy include; feeling I’ve nothing to contribute, being taken for granted and wasting time.  Nothing too earth shattering there, but for me, it’s a solid foundation.

Spice wise, there’s the new decade wall of self reflection to hit. Personally, the early thirties thus far can be summed up with a big old, “Holy shit, I’m a grownup! When did this happen, why wasn’t I told!?” Additionally there’s the aforementioned unemployment. Also, as the blog tittle suggests, the disability thing.  Having lived with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis since one and a half it mostly feels like the background noise of life, until it combines with job searching and my preference for a slackerish lifestyle.  Physically, I’m the worst candidate for most slacker jobs. Barista, waitress, dishwasher, sales girl, line cook, sugar beet picker, delivery person and hobo all require more standing, carrying and general speed that I can muster.  Historically I’ve been forced to look for and take jobs that are much more serious and much more dull than I’d like. I find myself with a skill set diametrically opposed to my actual personality.  You want something collated, you need receipts checked against Quickbooks, ledgers balanced or phone calls made, I’m your lady!

So how to balance the flavors? This year I’m determined to live an experiment, to try as many things as I can and reflect on good adventures past. Ultimately moving towards a life more delicious. Today I declare myself Christine McMahon, Adventure Cripple.

Chicken Stock:

You will need:

1 Chicken Carcass

1 Onion

1 Shallot

3 Carrots

2 Sprigs of Sage

4 Tbs. Herbs de Provence

1 tsp. Ground Ginger

1/2 C. Brandy

1 Shot of Tequila (For Good Measure)

Salt and pepper to taste

A Big Old Pot

A Bunch of Water

Roughly chop the veggies. Put the chicken and veggies in the pot, add water until nearly full. Add all other ingredients. Simmer for at least 3 hours occasionally skimming and discarding fat.  Add more water as needed.  When you’ve achieved the desired flavor, strain out all of the odd bits and make whatever you want out of it.

Rules of the Road

 

 

1. Always talk to strangers
2. If a hippie tells you you must take a special trip out of your way to see something you’ve never heard of, take that trip.
3. Eat local no matter how sketchy it may look.
4. Take your time.
5. The best trips are the ones with the least advanced planning.
6. On road trips, final destinations should be very specific, yet very arbitrary.
7. Be generous and kind.
8. If people offer you free things, take ‘em.
9. Don’t fall into the “I’m making good time” trap. Stop frequently and poke around.
10. Share.
11. Always take snacks.
12. Always be willing to alter your plans/ change your mind.
13. Ask a local.
14. Painkillers are important.
15. Never expect non-stop fun. When viewed correctly, the lows are what make a vacation into an adventure.
16. Always be willing to break the rules.

How To Do Just About Anything (2nd)

Escaping Unpleasant Chores

  

Scenario:  You find yourself having a perfectly lovely time, lying on the couch, maybe reading a book, maybe doodling, maybe napping. Generally at peace with the world.  Suddenly your parents, spouse, children, housemates, Cthulhu, whomever rush into the room looking frazzled and ask you to run errands. On any other day you are a helpful, generous team player, but today… Today you are beyond comfy; you have transcended mere slack to the level of the Ultimate Chillaxer (which is level 9).

What do you do?

Solution: Quite easy really, gaze into the eyes of the aforementioned whomever and say the magic sentence, “I’d really like to help baby, but you know, Zeno’s paradox and all.” 

 

Moral: It’s useful that public school doesn’t teach philosophy because most people cannot argue against Zeno’s paradox only because they have no idea what it is.  Or, 3 cheers for laziness!  

 

How To Do Just About Anything (1st)

Cookies Are Always a

Good Place To Start

 

Double Ginger Cookies 

 

This recipe is somewhat stolen from the The Best of Cooking Light,  but I add a bit more crystallized ginger and lemon rind because subtlety is anathema to my upbringing.  These cookies are easy to make, end up having a lovely, chewy texture and are a fabulous combo of sweet and hot.  A gift of ginger cookies is the perfect way to tell boys and ponies that you want them to be yours without seeming to “fast.”

 

1.5 cups all-purpose flour

1 cup whole-wheat flour

1 cup chopped crystallized ginger

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger 

1.25 cups sugar (not to be used all at once)

1/2 cup applesauce

1/4 vegetable oil

2 teaspoons grated lemon rind (honestly, do you know anyone who actually measures lemon rind? Grate a lemon into the bowl until it looks like enough)

1 tablespoon lemon juice  

1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract 

 

1.  Combine flours, crystallized ginger, baking powder, baking soda, salt and ground ginger.  Stir with a whisk until bored.  Make a volcanic pit in the center of dry ingredient mountain.

2. Combine 1 cup of sugar, applesauce, vegetable oil, lemon rind, lemon juice and vanilla until you have lava.

3. Add the lava to the volcano, stirring until moist (don’t over-do it here, they get all funky)

4. Cover and chill for at least an hour and as long as a full day.

5. Heat the oven to 350

6. Make the dough into 24 balls (about 2 tablespoons each). Roll the balls in the remaining sugar.

7. Place your balls two inches apart on a cookie sheet (insert sophomoric giggles).

8. Bake for 15 minutes.